Don't Kill the Christmas Tree
by wally4ever
Summary: Remus has competition over Christmas at The Burrow. He answers to Marcus and is five years old. A Remus and Tonks one shot.


Don't Kill the Christmas Tree

By wally4ever

A One-Shot

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Remus had been in a crappy mood since Bill and Fleur asked for him to watch their five-year-old while they were gone. Remus knew he should have taken Tonks to the Bahamas, or stay put at their flat and watch really bad Christmas movies on the telly, anything but be at The Burrow under such conditions.

That kid was a menace to society, and the only one that believed Remus was the kid himself. Normally Remus liked children, but this kid was just plain rude, mean, cruel, and dangerous. But what Remus really didn't like was how it seemed the kid was only that way to him. When Tonks walked into the room, the little nitwit would giggle and hug her leg. When Bill and Fleur walked in, he would be as quiet as a church mouse. When Molly or Arthur walked in, he would ask them countless questions about his parents. When the rest of the Weasley's were around he would be generally a happy person to be with. But when Remus and he were alone . . . total chaos.

Everyone had left to get food for the Christmas feast, leaving Remus and the brat alone with long cords of lights. Several times evil thoughts ran through Remus's head when he stuck a needle through popcorn, or when he hung ornaments on the tree. How he wished to poke the kid with all the pointy objects around, or even tie the lights around his dwarf's neck. Remus thought of using his wand, but it wouldn't have hurt the kid as much. Unless the brat received splinters . . .

"Marcus, can you pass that ornament over there?" Remus asked.

"Ok," Marcus answered. Marcus had a small vocabulary, since he was so young, yet he always seemed to use his worst with Remus. "Here you go, idiot," Marcus said handing Remus the ornament.

As silly as being called "idiot" would have seemed to Remus, being called so low by a five-year-old hurt his ego, and in turn made his state of mind against insults go blank. Remus only forced a smile, which made him look some what constipated, and took the ornament from Marcus. The thought of taking both of Marcus's hands and enclosing them around the ornament, and then giving it a quick squeeze ran through Remus's head. But he was Remus Lupin; he couldn't go around doing that sort of business. Besides, the blood would have been hard to clean up afterwards. "Thanks," he said.

"You're welcome, idiot," Marcus replied.

They continued decorating the tree for a while longer, and soon Remus began to wonder exactly what Marcus hated about him. Did he not like his hair? His voice? Remus paled. Did Marcus know about his monthly problem? Remus started to string popcorn once again, and went once more into deep thought. Whatever it was that Marcus hated about him, most likely it was a habit that Remus couldn't control. Remus just hoped it wasn't the monthly issue.

Remus glanced at Marcus who was humming as he placed an ornament on the tree. Marcus bent down to get another ornament, and Remus held back the desire to kick the little monster. Remus turned back and grabbed some popcorn; he soon was back to work.

Before long, Marcus's height became the better of him, and the lower section of the tree was gorgeous and ornamented, yet the top was practically untouched, only saved by the few ornaments that Remus put up. "Hey, idiot," there he went with that name again.

"What?" Remus asked not taking his eyes of his work.

"I said," Remus heard some fast foot work coming towards his direction, "hey!" Remus then felt a hand slam against his shoulder, scaring him half to death. Then the needle went straight into his finger, and Remus yelped out in pain.

"_You little monster!_" Remus screamed letting his newfound anger take way. "You _better start running!_" Remus placed the string of popcorn in the bowl, and stood up at his full height. He saw a slight shadow over Marcus and felt superior.

Marcus at once started to run.

Remus ran after him, not even the thought of a head start crossed his mind, and Marcus dashed into a closet. He slammed Remus's foot in the door. Remus wailed in pain and jumped on one foot as he rubbed the other, but the foot was on fire at his touch. "Get out, Marcus!" Remus was breathing heavily through his nose, and suddenly, the door burst open, hitting Remus right in the face.

Remus fell to the ground clutching his nose and Marcus didn't bother to stop from walking on Remus. Remus couldn't breathe for a little bit as Marcus slowed on his lungs, and jumped off him, narrowly missing his head. Remus heard Marcus run into the kitchen. Great, _knives_.

Remus hopped on his good foot clutching his nose and calling out for Marcus as he made his way towards the kitchen. "Marcus, what you did was a nasty thing, and I'd respect it if you stopped--"

Somehow, beyond Remus, Marcus found a frying pan, and he hit it against Remus's shin bone. Remus's eyes watered as he collapsed to the ground, landing uncomfortably on his hurt foot. Remus closed his eyes, and heard the frying pan fall to the ground. If only the brat would stop. What did Remus do to deserve this?

Alas, the front door opened. Remus opened his eyes and saw Marcus looking down at him creepily. Marcus then switched his gaze to the door, and ran towards it. Remus sighed. "Who ever that may be," Remus whispered, "isn't getting a polyester blanket from me."

"Wotcher, Marcus," Remus heard faintly. Remus smiled. "Whoa, I'm glad to see you too."

"What's the hold up, Tonks?" a voice that could only belong to Molly said. "These bags aren't feather light."

"Sorry, Molly."

If Remus didn't have a bad foot and shin bone, he would have gotten up. Unfortunately for him, he had to be a sitting duck and wait for the lot to find him and start their speculations. Fred and George would poke him with their fake wands. Hermione would sympathize. Molly would ask what happened. Tonks would try to help him up, only to find that Remus wasn't going anywhere.

"What happened to you?" Remus looked at the voice to see a smirking Harry above his head. Before Remus could even answer, Harry continued on. "Was it Marcus? Yeah, he beat me up once, too. Don't know why. I asked once."

"What did he say?" Remus said in an odd high pitched voice. He frowned and tried to clear his throat.

Harry cocked an eyebrow. "He beat me up with my wand."

"Come on Harry," Hermione said from behind him. "Mrs. Weasley can only be distracted by her grandson for so long."

"Yeah," followed Ron. "That little two faced gnome."

"Ron!" Hermione snapped.

"Just saying," Ron mumbled.

"He got Ron, too?" Remus asked Harry, and then looked awkwardly at his feet, more so the bad one.

"Nah," Harry said. "Ron just hates him because he said the Chudley Cannons suck." Remus cocked an eyebrow. "I should probably get you off the floor." Harry placed his bags down and moved around to take hold of Remus's arms and shoulders.

"_Harry_, if you aren't going to move--Lupin? What happened to your nose?" Hermione squeezed passed Harry and went to help Remus. Soon Ron discovered him, and went to help as well. Remus's theory of Tonks helping and then causing him pain ended when the three worked together to pick him up, and he didn't feel a thing. Remus rested against a counter top, held his nose and he breathed heavily out his mouth.

"Wotcher, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Remus . . . Remus?" Remus looked up at Tonks, and smiled.

"Hey, babe," Remus wasn't quite sure why he called he "babe", and Tonks seemed not to notice. Of course, Remus was practically dead, so if he all of a sudden gave her a cutsie pet name she wouldn't have noticed.

Tonks threw her bags at Ron, who was caught off guard but caught them sloppily, and raised a knee just to support it all. Tonks was immediately by Remus's side. She placed a hand tenderly on his fore head, and another to check his pulse. Why was beyond him. Possibly it could have been from the use of the word "babe" . . . or since he looked like a horror movie extra.

"Are you alright? What happened? How many fingers am I holding? Count to ten," Tonks said faster than the sped of light and then gazed at Remus's foot. "That must hurt."

"Oh, dear! _Remus_," Molly exclaimed.

-------

Thanks to Fred, George, and Hermione, a potion was made to ease the pain Remus was starting to feel intensify. Molly made him a little bed in the living room so he could lie down and join the Christmas festivities downstairs. Marcus never left Tonks's side. Remus watched as everyone sang Christmas carols, and he waited for Tonks to come back to her seat just by his head. Life as a cripple was just wonderful during the holidays. No more did he have to sing along with the others during carols as he loved to do so before. No more could he hug Tonks. No more could he attempt to help Molly make dinner. No more could he run from Marcus.

This was going to be the _best_ Christmas ever.

Tonks returned to her seat with Marcus bouncing on her lap. Remus glared at the five-year-old. As everyone went for an encore of 'Joy to the World', Remus closed his eyes and tried to finds ways of killing Marcus. So far, all he had was poison. It seemed most effective. After Marcus ate the poison, he could watch the brat suffer and die. It seemed flawless.

He should have gone to New York or the Bahamas. Oh yes, and those Christmas movies. Remus could have been cuddling with Tonks in his lap while watching the son of Santa Claus throw away his new found position as the new Santa, in the end say "To hell with it" and become the jolly old fat man, and then laugh about it over hot cocoa and marshmallows. He could have been able to move.

"Tonks, could you sit next to me at dinner?" Marcus asked sweetly. Remus glared behind his eyelids. How he wanted to wringe that little mongrels neck. Oh, another killing theory: strangulation. Remus smirked. Then he could see Marcus die slow and painfully. He liked that idea.

"Oh, alright, but I have to help Remus to his seat," Tonks answered.

"Oh," Marcus said with what Remus thought was a mix of hatred and disappointment. Suddenly, it all came to click in Remus's mind. Marcus was treating him so horribly because of Tonks! Remus was in a relationship with Tonks, and Marcus knew it. _Of course_. Marcus was always trying to flirt with Tonks, then Remus would come and kiss her cheek, and once Tonks left, Marcus was on Remus like a lion and its prey. But why had Marcus turned on Harry?

"Remus, are you alright?" Arthur asked. Remus opened his eyes and found Arthur looking down at him while everyone else was singing. Remus gazed at Tonks and found her occupied playing horsy with Marcus. The little two faced, inconsiderate, malnutrition . . .

"I'm fine," Remus said forcing a smile. Arthur smiled uneasily, and nodded. As he walked away, Remus glared at the ceiling when Marcus said, "I love you, Tonks." Then he heard Tonks giggle.

What seemed to bug Remus more so of his predicament with Marcus and Tonks was how he couldn't cause Marcus the pains he put on him. Remus was left to suffer, or tell on Marcus and be laughed at because Marcus was five and didn't know what attraction he even left for Tonks and because no one would possibly believe that someone so young could even think of hurting another as he did for Remus.

Remus really should have gone to the Bahamas.

Dinner was served moments later, and everyone started to emerge from their seats and start towards the dining table. Remus groaned, and felt weak as he was helped up by Bill and Charlie. Fred and George topped an imaginary hat at Remus's direction, and mumbled on how Percy was a prick and wouldn't have been invited to come for Christmas anyway, although it would have been nice if he dropped by like he did once before.

Tonks had told Marcus to go ahead as she stayed behind to help Remus. When no one was looking, Remus found himself sticking his tongue out immaturely at a boy who hadn't even ridden a broom. But then Tonks looked right at Remus when his was squinting his eyes at Marcus, and she frowned. Remus looked at her dumbstruck, and forgot to pull back his tongue into his mouth.

Remus sat next to Arthur on one side, and the other side was Tonks, who was sitting next to Marcus, who was sitting next to Fleur, who was sitting next to Bill. Remus didn't feel up to finding out who Bill was sitting next to on his other side, but he figured it was probably Fred or George. Then one or the other of the twins sat next to Charlie, who was sitting next to Ginny, who sat next to Hermione, who sat next to Ron, who sat next to Harry, who sat next to Molly, who was sitting next to Arthur. Remus felt a headache coming along.

Fleur began on saying how this was going to be Marcus's first Christmas at The Burrow, and then all the women began talking about their first Christmas at The Burrow. Or in Ginny's case, the first one she remembered, but Molly took care of the first ever one for Ginny.

"Remus," Tonks whispered so quietly that he almost hadn't heard.

"Yeah," Remus answered as he eyed his knife. He could go classic and just stab Marcus. Dirty, but it would do.

"How are you feeling," she said with the same whisper.

Remus thought over his words. He could say, "Oh, well, Marcus beat me up because I think he's jealous because I'm with you, so if I get a concussion . . . you're sleeping on couch." But he didn't. Instead he said, "Um, I fell."

Tonks laughed softly. "No, you didn't."

Remus fiddled with his fingers. "Ok, I didn't."

Tonks tapped his shoulder so lightly that Remus figured it would have taken him decades to make it to the Moon if he was in space. "Come on, you can tell me," she said.

_I wish._ "No, really, I fell," he said. It wasn't a complete lie. He did fall; twice in fact, unless he counted "fall in love" which terminally caused the problem.

"Remus . . ."

"I fell. Oh, would you look at that? Mashed potatoes," Remus added as he reached over to place some on his plate. "Would you like some?" Tonks nodded, and opened her mouth to speak, but Remus cut her off. "Tonks, I fell, that's all, alright? Harry, could you pass the stew?"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Alright, you can play your games, but just you wait, I'll find out what really happened soon enough." Remus was left to wonder what she really meant. Would she really find out? Would Marcus leave Remus be?

Arthur offered Remus some pumpkin juice, and Remus accepted. When Remus took a sip out of his goblet, he hoped that he would just _survive _Christmas. Maybe if he did die, the truth would get out, and Marcus would get punishment. Remus prayed for whipping. Or a feverish spanking with a paddle or back to the whipping. Both?

Once dinner had ended, Molly got up and waved her wand around, and all the dishes flew towards the sink. Remus saw Marcus wrestle with his goblet, and smirked. A sinister laugh rang through his head, and he caught Harry's eye. Both nodded in Marcus's direction, where the goblet flew out of the little menace's hand and the boy was left to wonder what had happened. Remus and Harry chocked down laughter, Ron asked Harry what was so funny, and Harry stopped almost immediately. Remus gave Harry a knowing glance, and the both had the look of laughter in their eyes.

After being hoisted out of his seat, Remus was laid back on the couch and watched mournfully as everyone sang along to random Christmas carols. This time, though, Remus could sit up straight, and Tonks, followed by Marcus, sat next to him on the couch. Remus entwined his fingers into hers and saw Marcus glare at him out of the corner of his eye. Remus felt superior. He darted his eyes around the room to find Harry, who was watching the display with a proud grin.

"Everybody," George boomed. Or maybe it was Fred . . .

"We would like to show you our Christmas special fireworks," Fred continued.

George looked smug, and Fred took out a stick. "We made this especially for the _in_doors, so they are kind of small."

"You just point them towards an angle," Fred said placing the stick on the ground, which Remus assumed was the fireworks, and positioned it upward and towards a corner where no one was. George reached into his back pocket and came out with a matchbook. He lit a match. The air gap around the match and the firework grew smaller, and smaller, and smaller.

Then, it caught fire. The fire traveled down the small string slowly, and then it disappeared. _Boom!_ It was off like a rocket. Everyone felt happy and jolly at the sight of the mini fireworks. But then it went off course. It flew around the room like a balloon without a knot at the blowhole. It zigzagged through the air, and performed loops faster than the eye could see. Then it went straight. Straight towards Remus.

Remus couldn't move. His foot was still a mess, and his shin wasn't any good. Remus felt Tonks's hand squeeze his, and Remus saw his whole life flash before his eyes. The fireworks landed right on his lap, where his manly hood was.

When they exploded, Remus's screams went through the roof, and it seemed he almost flashed as a werewolf for one second before turning back into a person. The fireworks were pretty, to say the least, and Remus's screams almost went harmonically with the bright lights.

Remus didn't sleep too well that night.

-------

Remus was running down an icy patch of grass. He kept slipping, but invisible arms caught him just when he was about to touch the ground. Tonks was crying out his name continuously, and the words, "Tonks, could you sit next to me at dinner" kept drowning her cries. But Remus still heard her, and he was coming.

Suddenly, it was nightfall, and Remus found himself in the Shrieking Shack. He looked down and saw huge paws. He was Moony. Tonks's calls for him echoed through the halls, and Remus ran faster than before. The words drowning hers changed to the all more unsettling, "I love you, Tonks." Remus looked outside a window and saw rain pouring down the glass.

Remus continued to run, and turned into a hall. He stopped at a door, and Tonks calls came stronger, as well as the "I love you, Tonks." Remus jingled the door knob, but it wouldn't open. He then brought up his fists and pounded on the door. The wood began to dent and bend, and splinters dug deep into Remus's hands. Satanic music flooded Remus's ears, and the door burst open.

Tonks was tied to a chair as Marcus was down on one knee and small black box in his tiny hands. He had a wand and was performing the Imperius Curse on her. He asked Tonks to marry him. Tonks, under the unforgivable, said . . .

Remus woke up. He was sweating and breathing heavily, and he felt his foot and shin bone throb. It was just a dream . . . only a dream.

Remus was able to walk around that morning, only he had a limp. He took a seat at the long dining room table, and sat there with his hands in his hair and his head bowed.

That dream was freakish and most unnerving. Remus would have rather to pulverize Dream Marcus, and kiss Dream Tonks romantically, and _then_ wake up. Remus thought of another killing method: _Avada Kedavra_. Hey, he could dream. Though, that was too quick; Remus wanted him to suffer. He heard guffaws of laughter from the living room, but knew that Marcus was in there, and he didn't think he would be able to control himself so soon after the dream had occurred.

Footsteps shook Remus from his thoughts and Remus saw Harry pull out a chair in front of him. "Good morning," Harry said. Remus nodded and waved his hand. He didn't feel much like talking. "Didn't sleep well?" Remus shook his head. "Bad dream?"

Remus nodded. "How'd you know?"

"You have 'Marcus' written all over you. Have a dream about him, then?" Harry said and Remus nodded. "You look like hell, mate. Well, I suppose I would too if I dreamt of him."

Remus felt like Harry would be the one to tell of his theory and since Harry had taken Divination more recently than he had, maybe he'd know what his dream meant. "Well, I was running and Tonks was calling for me, and in the background was Marcus repeating things. And at first I was myself, but then I was . . ." Remus paused, "_him_, and I was at the Shrieking Shack. When I reached Tonks, she was tied to a chair and was under the Imperius as Marcus was proposing."

Harry looked at him expectantly, when Remus didn't answer his look, Harry went out with it. "Well, what did she say?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't know. I never got to finish the dream."

Harry still had that look. "Is there something else you're not telling me?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I have this theory," he said, and Harry actually looked interested.

"On with it," Harry said.

Remus scratched his head, and then leaned back in his chair, moving his hands carelessly to his side. "Well, I have this theory, and well, I think that Marcus may be, uh, _treating _me differently because I'm with Tonks . . ." Remus looked over at Harry who was staring at him blankly. "Bad idea, I know."

"No, no--I think it is a highly plausible idea," Harry reassured, smiling.

Remus brightened. "You do?"

Harry stopped smiling. "Truthfully, I'm not sure. But now that you mention it, I did hug Tonks shortly before I got, um, you know . . ."

Great, not only did Harry think Remus's theory was bogus, but if it was surreal, Marcus would not only be a psychopath, but Remus would have no choice but to live through Christmas with him. Remus felt like laughing at himself. He could have been having a ball of a time, but instead he was becoming victim of a five-year-old. Though, in the back of his mind, Remus figured he already was the child's victim. Victimized and Confused: The Remus Lupin Story.

"You think it's stupid," Remus sighed resting his forehead on the table. He heard Harry get out from his chair, and felt a comforting pat on his shoulder.

"No, I don't. I just think that there may be other reasons," Harry said.

Harry then left and Remus was alone with his thoughts. Remus felt like a teenager again. There was too much drama for this situation to be fun. Maybe there wasn't much drama and it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Remus hated moments like those. He would be by himself and then he remembers he forgot to pick up the mail and that Tonks was expecting a movie to come soon since it was already a week late. So his mind would multiply the situation by ten, and he would run towards the mailbox, only to find that it was empty. He would go back inside and find Tonks waiting for him in the living room because she got the mail earlier and had the movie all set.

------

It was Christmas Eve. Remus protested against working on the tree again. He said that he was allergic, and only got a few stares. Fred and George mumbled 'bah humbug' under their breath and went to drink some utterly disgusting egg nog. Molly held Tonks, Fleur, and herself captive in the kitchen. The only women not in the kitchen were Hermione and Ginny, and that was only so they could watch Marcus.

Word was going around that Fleur was persuading Molly to let her make a traditional French Christmas food, and no word on Molly's answer was heard to those not invited into the kitchen. Every now and then Hermione and Ginny would disappear into the kitchen asking for Ron and Harry to watch Marcus. Bill would have taken him even before the girls, but he was on a heavy duty decoration job along with Arthur. Fred and George hadn't been seen at all that day, so Remus and Charlie decided to be with Harry and Ron.

The four men were having a grand time laughing over a comical story of a Christmas mishap Ron caused in which he thought that Santa was evil and tried to kill him late at night when he saw him in the living room, only to find it was his father. Ginny ended up in tears and Fred and George were in denial.

Charlie ended the story, Harry slapped Ron on the shoulder, and Remus leaned his head back and laughed. Hermione and Ginny walked over to them with Marcus looking over at the scene the men were making. "Hello," Ginny said. They quieted down and looked at the three.

"We're going to the kitchen, and we would like you all to look after Marcus," Hermione stated bossily and Marcus stepped out in front of the girls. Hermione looked down at Ron and raised an eyebrow. "What did he do now?"

Ron looked at her sharply. "What makes you think I did something?"

"You have that look on you face as if you did something wrong," Hermione said simply.

"Well, I didn't."

Charlie jumped up for the kill. "Oh, yes, he did. He tried to _kill _dad as Santa Claus."

Ginny smiled. "Oh, I remember that," she giggled. "I'll fill you in, Hermione."

"Don't," Ron said glaring at his sister.

"Watch me," Ginny retorted.

Ron jumped up from the couch, and Charlie spoke up. "Alright, you two, save it for dinner."

Ron stopped and looked at Charlie, and Hermione looked somewhat amused. Ron turned and walked back to his seat. Hermione and Ginny smiled, and left. Marcus took the small space next to Remus that couldn't even fit half the size of his five-year-old body, and his weight pinched Remus legs as he sat down on it. It seemed like the two were getting along, but Remus felt like flinging the little psycho off of him.

Nobody said anything. "So," Charlie said after a moment of unbearable silence. "Ron, would you say that Hermione looks nice today?" Remus tried to pay attention to the potential teasing that Ron was going to receive, but Marcus was starting to get into his head. Remus looked over at Harry who was smiling at Ron, but then looked over at Remus and frowned. They both looked shortly at Marcus and nodded.

Remus shifted in his seat, and could have sworn he had seen Marcus grip the couch and smirk, though it could have been his imagination. Marcus's right hand found Remus's leg, and using his nails, he began to pinch Remus. Remus jumped up in his seat, and shifted his leg. He looked down at Marcus nervously, and then at Harry. They locked eyes and had one of those weird non-verbal conversations with the work of nods, eye movements, and mouthing words.

"Remus wants to use the bathroom and forgot where it is," Harry said lamely and got up from his seat.

Charlie and Ron looked at Remus confused, and then up at Harry. Remus nodded slowly and then picked up the pace. "Uh, yeah, yeah, I forgot," Remus said as he stood up. Marcus fell back on the couch.

Marcus perked up. "I have to go too," he said.

"No!" Remus said before he thought it over. Remus contorted his face and whispered the word over to himself.

"No?" Charlie asked.

Remus smiled quickly and nodded to fast to be humanly possible. "Uh, yeah."

Harry nodded and motioned towards the stairs and they ran over as if they were on fire. Remus looked back at Marcus who sat back on the couch looking defeated. The two dashed up the stairs and halted in front of Ginny's bedroom door. "I don't think anyone is upstairs," Harry said a little out of breath. The stairs had seemed shorter before.

"I don't think so, either," Remus replied looking at the ceiling and breathing in fully.

"I was thinking about what you said, and maybe the Marcus is Jealous theory is right," Harry said.

Remus did a double take. "You-you do?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah; so, what are you going to do about it?"

Remus smirked. "Has anyone ever told you that you looked just like your father?"

-------

Their plan was full proof and simple. Marcus liked to torment those of Tonks's worth in private, so why not catch him in the act? Their plan was also boring and cheesy, but they only had until dinner which wasn't too far away. Molly had hunted them down, and told them in person that dinner was ready and everyone was waiting for them at the table. The two nodded and waited until she was halfway down the stairs before moving themselves.

When Remus and Harry made it to the table, they saw everyone looking down at their empty plates gloomily and almost depressed. Marcus had an exaggerated frown on his face at the sight of Remus, yet he wasn't seated by Tonks either, so that seemed like a possible reason of his facial expression. Remus and Harry gazed at each other and nodded before walking towards their seats.

Remus sat down next to Tonks and Fred. He had to contain himself not to see who was sitting next to whom again, and only looked at who was in front of him. He saw a chair, but not a body. His heart stopped, and he lowered his gaze. Marcus was smiling at him. This was just bloody brilliant. Marcus could easily kick him under the table, and as if the little rodent read his mind, Marcus kicked Remus in the shin that he had hit with a frying pan a few days ago. Remus cringed and felt his eyes water. His shin was still sore and a nasty bruise had started to form and was probably starting to change colors from the kick.

Molly started to talk of what Christmas meant and how that seems to be forgotten these years although Remus could have learned all about the spirit of Christmas if he had stayed at home with Tonks at their flat and watched a cheesy Christmas movie. Instead he was getting beat up by a Wizard of Oz munchkins wanna be because the midget wanted Tonks when Remus was with her and would be for some time. Remus felt a head ache coming along.

Soon they were all allowed to eat, and Remus offered Tonks some ham. Tonks looked at Remus like she knew a secret of his, which made Remus alarmed. She knew about Marcus. He knew it. How she knew it, he didn't know. But he knew she knew, but yet he didn't want her to know that he knew she knew, so he decided to play like he knew nothing.

"Sure, Remus, thank you," Tonks answered with a smile that made Remus quiver in fear. Remus piled a little too much ham on her plate, but Tonks didn't notice; she just looked at him.

Remus put some ham on his plate, and glanced at her seeing that she was still looking at him. He placed the plate of ham down on the table, and took something that seemed to be breathing from Arthur who had put just a teaspoon amount on his own plate. Remus put a little on his, and turned to Tonks who was looking at him like that again. "Want some?" he asked.

"No, thank you," she answered. Her look was beginning to make Remus even more nervous; he felt his foot twitch.

The table became silent. Remus's eyes darted around and saw that everyone had the same look. Remus looked at Harry as if he had all the answers, but saw that he was whispering to Ginny next to him and then he looked back at Remus smirking.

Remus felt a tap on his shoulder not facing Tonks. Remus turned to Fred. "Sorry to have you notice like this, Remus," Fred said, "but there happens to be some greens I would like you to pass."

Remus looked at him confused and then looked up. There was mistletoe hung up in the air in between Tonks and him. Remus looked around the table and smiled nervously. He caught Marcus's eye, and the boy was glaring at him. Remus turned to Tonks, and smiled like he was on some Muggle game show. "Oh," he said.

Tonks smiled, and Remus stared into her purple eyes nervously. This was embarrassing. He was giving her food while she was trying to tell him there was mistletoe over them. Did everyone really have to be so quiet? It was like someone had died and they were all at a funeral. Not even that. A funeral would at least have people crying.

Remus placed the plate of unknown food down on the table, and licked his lips nervously as he turned towards Tonks. She had the look of amusement in her eyes. Remus felt nervous like this was their first kiss as a couple. They've made love, yet that little mistletoe was mocking him of his manhood.

Remus felt a push from behind and crashed into Tonks's mouth. He was going to make it short and sweet, and Tonks placed a hand on his back and deepened it. Now everyone was cheering like it _was _their first kiss as a couple. Well, Remus supposed it was their first _mistletoe _kiss as a couple. Remus now hated mistletoes.

A sharp kick in Remus's shin made Remus squeak and pull quickly apart from Tonks. Remus glared at Marcus, and everyone went back to usual as if they hadn't intimidated Remus into that.

The plan for everyone to find out what Marcus had done never went through, and when Remus and Tonks left, Remus kissed her passionately in front of Marcus as a victory lap on surviving Christmas. Tonks rested in his arms in a daze and looked at him confused. Before they apparated back to their flat to watch a really bad Christmas movie, Remus told Tonks that they were to never go back to The Burrow for Christmas if Marcus was there. Tonks laughed and said that it was fine, but she already made plans with Molly for New Years Eve of next year.

The End

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AN: It was hard deciding whether or not to make this a chapter story, or a one-shot. I wonder what I decided on . . . When I was reading this to by best friend over the phone as a test run, she started to chant "sequel". Does anyone else want to see Remus kicked in the hineyrumpus by a deranged five-year-old?

My apologies to anyone who my have gotten offended by Remus's insults of 'dwarf' and 'midget'. I didn't intend to hurt anyone by it, but just explain the hatred and anger Remus had towards Marcus.

I understand that the entrance to The Burrow is the kitchen, but, um, for the sake of this story . . . let's just assume like many things that the Harry Potter movies have done to other things . . . it isn't. Since I've basically messed up a portion of The Burrow, let's just make the front door located in the living room. (?) Hey, nobody's perfect. :D

Love, Amanda


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